Thank you, Dr. Laura!

Dr. Laura recently put out a book titled 'In Praise of Stay at Home Moms'. I am looking forward to reading it. I have heard only a little bit of Dr. Laura's radio program over the years, but I'm almost always impressed with what she has to say. I've always been a huge advocate of stay-at-home moms, but lately I've been noticing that I've been allowing the world to influence me in a way that has me thinking that I should be "doing more" outside of the home. The truth is, I am doing exaclty what I am supposed to be doing - staying home with my daughter. There is nothing more important than that. Tonight I came across this short video by Dr. Laura and was very encouraged!

Saved Through Motherhood

"Has your child taught you any unexpected lessons lately? Pastor Mark Driscoll explains the meaning of 1 Timothy 2:15, the controversial and often misunderstood verse which states, "Yet she will be saved through childbearing, if they continue in faith and love and holiness with self-control." FamilyLife.com

Saved Through Motherhood - A 2 part Series

Listen Here
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A Mother's Influence is Unmatched

"Mothers, please don't let the world rob you of the incredible joy of a life invested in your children.

They are your mark on the world.

They are your legacy, your testimony, and your contribution to mankind.

Don't let some other woman steal your influence.

Remember, 'The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.'

That saying didn't just show up one day.

That proverb is the result of centuries of observation.

A mother's influence is unmatched."

-Voddie Bauchaum, Family Driven Faith

Quote found at A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Christian Mothers and The Bible

One of my favorite websites is gotquestions.org. You can go there and ask just about any question pertaining to the Bible and you will most often get an accurate and thorough response with many references to verses in the Bible. Here is what it says regarding Christian mothers. I found this to be extremely helpful! - Shaina

Question: "What does the Bible say about Christian mothers?"

Answer: Being a mother is a very important role that the Lord chooses to give to many women. A Christian mother is told to love her children (Titus 2:4-5), in part so that she does not bring reproach on the Lord and on the Savior whose name she bears.

Children are a gift from the Lord (Psalm 127:3-5). In Titus 2:4, the Greek word phileoteknos appears in reference to mothers loving their children. This word represents a special kind of “mother love.” The idea that flows out of this word is that of caring for our children, nurturing them, affectionately embracing them, meeting their needs, and tenderly befriending each one as a unique gift from the hand of God.

Several things are commanded of Christian mothers in God’s Word:

Availability – morning, noon, and night (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)

Involvement – interacting, discussing, thinking, and processing life together (Ephesians 6:4)

Teaching – the Scriptures and a biblical worldview (Psalm 78:5-6;Deuteronomy 4:10; Ephesians 6:4)

Training – helping a child to develop skills and discover his/her strengths (Proverbs 22:6) and spiritual gifts (Romans 12:3-8 and 1 Corinthians 12)

Discipline – teaching the fear of the Lord, drawing the line consistently, lovingly, firmly (Ephesians 6:4; Hebrews 12:5-11; Proverbs 13:24; 19:18;22:15; 23:13-14; 29:15-17)

Nurture – providing an environment of constant verbal support, freedom to fail, acceptance, affection, unconditional love (Titus 2:4; 2 Timothy 1:7;Ephesians 4:29-32; 5:1-2; Galatians 5:22; 1 Peter 3:8-9)

Modeling with Integrity – living what you say, being a model from which a child can learn by “catching” the essence of godly living (Deuteronomy 4:9, 15, 23; Proverbs 10:9; 11:3; Psalm 37:18, 37).

The Bible never states that every woman should be a mother. However, it does say that those whom the Lord blesses to be mothers should take the responsibility seriously. Mothers have a unique and crucial role in the lives of their children. Motherhood is not a chore or unpleasant task. Just as a mother bears a child during pregnancy, and just as a mother feeds and cares for a child during infancy, so mothers also play an ongoing role in the lives of their children, whether they are adolescents, teenagers, young adults, or even adults with children of their own. While the role of motherhood must change and develop, the love, care, nurture, and encouragement a mother gives should never cease.

1 Year Anniversary of this Blog!

I have been blogging for 6 years now, my first blog was a personal journal held at Xanga.com. It still exists and I update it about once a year just so it'll stay up to date. I moved to blogger because I wanted a new design and a whole new start on blogging.

Today I decided to go look back at my first post here on blogger: Click here if you wish to read it. I created this blog with the purpose of writing about my many adventures in homemaking. I think I have gone through 3 different names for this blog so far and who knows if the current one (Motherly Love) will even stick... but overall I feel I have succeeded in what I set out to do. I want to document my life and whatever I am doing at the time happens to be what I write about. Right now I am a new mom, so a lot of my posts are about motherhood and the excitement of seeing my daughter try new things each day.

This is a personal journal / homemaker's blog.

I hope that by writing on this blog I am able to encourage other young women to pursue lives devoted to their families. I also want to have a document that my daughter and any other future children of ours will be able to read one day to enjoy and be encouraged by. I believe there is nothing more important for a woman to do, especially in this day and age.

Just a Mother

I've seen this story around for quite a while, I just love it! Enjoy! - Shaina

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A few months ago, when I was picking up the children at school, another mother I knew rushed up to me. She was fuming with indignation.

“Do you know what you and I are?” she demanded.

Before I could answer~and I didn’t really have one handy~she blurted out the reason for her question. It seemed she had just returned from renewing her driver’s license at the County Clerk’s office. Asked by the woman recorder to state her “occupation,” she had hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.

“What I mean is,” explained the recorder, “Do you have a job, or are you just a ….?”

“Of course I have a job.” she snapped. “I’m a mother.”

“We don’t list ‘mother’ as an occupation…’housewife’ covers it,” said the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day when I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman. poised, efficient, and possessed of a high-sounding title, like “Official Interrogator” or “Town Registrar.”

“And what is your occupation?” she probed.

What made me say it, I do not know. The words simply popped out. “I’m…a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations.”

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair, and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pompous pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

“Might I ask,” said the clerk with new interest,”just what you do in your field?”

Coolly, without a trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply,”I have a continuing program of research (what mother doesn’t) in the laboratory and in the field (normally I would have said indoors and out). I’m working for my Masters (the whole darned family) and already have four credits (all daughters).

Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most.

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk’s voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants~age 13, 7, and 3. And upstairs, I could hear our new experimental model (six months) in the child-development program, testing out a new vocal pattern.

I felt triumphant. I had scored a beat on bureaucracy. And I had gone down on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than “just another….” Home…what a glorious career. Especially when there’s a title on the door.

**From Chicken Soup for the Soul

Imitate the Christ-like

Whenever I hear anything spoken in conversation of any person, if I think it would be praiseworthy in me, Resolved to endeavor to imitate it. July 8, 1723. - Jonathan Edwards. Number54 on his list of 70 resolutions.

On Sunday, our Pastor quoted this phrase and it particularly stood out to me. We know that as followers of Christ we are to imitate Christ. One way we can do this is to acknowledge those qualities that are exemplified in other believers and imitate those things that are worthy of praise. In other words - see the Christ-like qualities in others and endeavor to imitate them as an effort to imitate Christ. So often I admire the good Christ-like qualities in others but I rarely put those things into practice in my own life. Good, godly qualities, are not just to be admired, they are to be practiced. This is something I need to keep in mind daily!

This is especially important now that I have a daughter who will soon be imitating me. As a parent it is my duty to imitate Christ to the best of my ability so that my daughter will grow to imitate Him as well.

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A Tough Week

Zoe LOVES green beans. They are her favorite food. They are the only food I can really count on with her. Usually I buy the frozen kind in large amounts, cook them, puree them, and then freeze them. This time I bought a giant can (the equivalent of about 6 or 7 cans) of green beans because it was very cheap at Sam's Club. Last night I discovered that she absolutely hates canned green beans. I have no idea what I'm going to do with all of these green beans... Gage likes them but not *that* much and I'm not a fan of green beans. I may just have to throw them all out.

Zoe has not wanted to eat anything lately. She doesn't like any fruits, she is very picky about vegetables, and she's not even a big fan of Cheerios anymore, which is very weird. I don't think it's a teething issue, but I guess that is always an option. I don't really know what to do. She does barley, oatmeal, rice, or mixed grain cereals, and she'll eat cheerios and she eats cheese... she really likes bread. She needs more protein though and she needs to eat fruits & vegetables. I really hope this is just a *short* phase she is going through.

She has also been having a tough time nursing lately. She is easily distracted --which is normal for a baby her age -- but she also really does not seem to be interested in nursing anymore. I think she may be weaning herself a little early. The problem with this is that she *hates* formula (I've tried it a few times this week). I may have to go straight to cow's milk... IF she'll drink it. I have a feeling if I tried it she would hate that too. She's 10 months old today, so my goal was to nurse for another two months at least and I really really really do not want to quit.

Arrrg! What is a Mom to do in situations like this?

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Fear of the Future

Jhn 14:27 - Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

I have always been a very sentimental girl. I own many things that are strictly sentimental value and do not really serve any other purpose than that. I have always been a documenter - writing, taking photos, scrapbooking, etc. Ever since I was a kid I have tried to make the most out of everything I did because I enjoyed life and wanted to embrace it. When I turned 13 I reveled in the fact that I was a teenager. I didn't follow in the footsteps of many teens but I did do things sometimes I think simply because I was a teen - hung posters on my walls, listened to music all day, dressed in "cool" clothing (while still modest), and went to concert after concert after concert. I remember thinking as a teenager that I wanted to stay that way forever. Young, healthy, with very few responsibilities. I was a little Peter Pan if you will ;) Never wanted to grow up. I took it all in, I didn't want to waste any moment of my teen years.

Ever since I watched my Mom take her last breath my appreciation for life has increased even more. So much that I think it has actually begun to have a negative effect on me. I've come to cherish moments so much that I never want to let them go. I want to stop time. I fear getting older (I dreaded turning 22, then 23, and now 24), I fear getting sick, and I fear dying at a relatively young age just as my Mom did. As with most people, it is my desire to grow old and watch my grandchildren grow up. I know that this is not my decision to make though - it is entirely up to God when I will go be with him. Most people my age simply don't think this way, young people expect to live until they are old, so they don't spend too much time thinking about their futures other than what job they will have or the number of children they want. Many people take it for granted that they will one day have grandchildren and even great-grandchildren, but we really don't know that for sure. With my Mom dying at a young age, it has nearly convinced me that I am going to die young also (which is an irrational thing to expect, I know, but nevertheless that is how I think.)

God has blessed me tremendously in my life so far and there are very few things that I would have ever hoped to be different. My life so far has been incredible, to say the least, and I want nothing more than to spend every waking moment of the day glorifying the Lord with all that I do. I cannot do this if I am constantly in fear of the future. Fear is a complete lack of faith.

My desire should first and foremost be a desire to be with Jesus Christ. Yes, family is a wonderful blessing, but I cannot allow myself to love them more than I love God. In reality, they do not even begin to compare to God. I need to look forward to the day that I die and not dread it, because what is in store for me as a believer in Jesus Christ is far greater than anything, even family.

The last week or so I have been realizing that in a short time, my baby girl is no longer going to be a baby. She will never be a baby every again. Now when I hold her I start to feel sadness, knowing that this beautiful stage of life will soon be over and will never return. I look forward to her toddler years but I am also sad that my little baby that I can cradle in my arms is growing so quickly. I wish she could stay a baby for just a while longer.

Even when I was a teenager my Mom called me her baby girl, I have a feeling I will do the same with Zoe. My Mom told me she loved me every single day of my life and she dedicated her life to caring for me and my siblings. My memories from growing up are so precious. I want to create a home filled with beautiful memories for Zoe, just as my Mom did for me.

I cherish every memory I have of my Mom, of my parents when they were together, of my sister dancing around and singing in the living room, of my brother and his obsession with the Muppets and chicken nuggets, all the fun Christmas' we spent together, the places we traveled to... These memories have such a profound effect on the way I live today. I loved my childhood and I really miss it, but being the sentimental person that I am (and was) I don't feel like my childhood wasn't long enough because I embraced it and enjoyed it to the best of my ability. I am in a new stage of life now though and if I don't "live life to its fullest" right now it'll pass me by and I'll wonder what happened to the time.

In the verse above, Jesus is telling his disciples not to fear because as believers in Him, they have nothing to fear. They were afraid of what was to come, but Jesus gave them the peace that they needed. My prayer on this day is that God would grant me the peace that I need to not fear what is to come. I pray that I will be able to cherish the wonderful moments of life and not worry about a time when those moments will be gone. I pray that I can keep an eternal perspective always - the more we realize how short our lives are the more we focus on our purpose - and that is to glorify the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Loving life is a wonderful thing and changes can be extremely hard on a person, but life is FULL of changes and each new change is a new adventure and each new adventure is a way to learn and grow in the Lord and it is a way to create new memories.

I know that I cannot get rid of this fear on my own. If my fear ever goes away it will be entirely God's doing.
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Things to Consider about Work

If you are a married Mom that is trying to decide whether or not you should work or stay home, these are some things that must be taken into consideration before making that decision.

First figure out how and if it is possible for your family to be a one income family, if not - decide if it could be in the future by finding expenses you could cut back on or eliminate altogether. The reason I encourage you married women to find a way to stay home is because I believe it is the most rewarding job a woman can ever have. It is such an incredible blessing to be constantly available to my daughter.

By working 40 hours a week for approximately 50 weeks a year (that includes approx 2 weeks off from work for vacation), you are away from your children for nearly 3 months out of the year. Not a big deal, right? Now, Multiply that by 18 years and it becomes 4 years of your life away from your child(ren). That is time that you do not get to spend with your child.

Granted, 13 of those years they will be in school for a large portion of your work hours, and if you work only during their school hours it will only mean that 2 years have been taken away due to the amount of schooling the public system has them do. However, if you work 9-5 you loose an additional 9 months. Over a period of 13 years those 2 extra hrs become 270 full 24 hr periods (9 full months).

If you work full time, 9-5pm: That is 420 days in the first 5 years of their life (over a year of their life) and plus the additional 270 days throughout the next 13 years. That is 690 days ( nearly 2 years) that you could spend with your children should you choose to not work full-time. The reason I have added up all of these days is because many of us don't realize exactly how much time is taken away by us working all the time.

Education is not an option. Therefore if your child is in the public school system, 2 of the 4 years you are unable to spend with your children they are being educated. Every child must attend some form of school: whether it be in a public school, private school, home school, or even unschooling. A child cannot go through life without some form of education. Day care programs, summer long camps, and after school programs may offer some education, but their main purpose is to serve as forms of childcare. The only reason they exist is because of working parents and their need for childcare while they are working during the days.

The point is we only have roughly 18 years to encourage, teach, love on, and guide our children until they become adults, and from then on - they are on their own. Yes, Lord willing you will still be around for them but they will essentially be on their own. 18 years is not long in regards to a lifetime, it is time that should be well cherished. I believe many Mothers in our culture do not take enough time to cherish their children. When you take into account all of the hours used by working full time, you literally have only have 14 years to spend with your children.

The thing to consider is this: Is all of that time spent away from your children worth it? Is your decision to work based on a personal fulfillment desire? Will your children truly benefit from your work? As for me and my family, the answer is no. We are living on a single part-time income and there are often times where I wish I could go work for a paycheck to contribute to our family, but the fact of the matter is - we are not on the streets. God is providing. I have no true need to work outside of the home. For some people it might be worth it, but in my case I view no job is more worthy of my time than my family. No job can even come close to the level of importance of Motherhood.

As for working while the children are in school (granted of course that you are not homeschooling), I believe the answer is entirely up to you and your husband. The answer to that question should be based on what you know you are capable of, what your goals are, and what your convictions are (Romans 14). I believe women should be the keepers in their home (Titus 2), but I also believe a woman can work outside of the home (as the Proverbs 31 woman did) and still be the keeper of the home - as long as your motives are Biblical and you are not neglecting your duties as a Mother.

My Mom stayed home with me and my 2 siblings. She was home with me every day of my life until I was about 5 years old (which I believe is a very critical time for motherhood and childhood). After that, during my 13 years of school I went to a public school for many of those years and home schooled for a few of them - but I was never home alone day after day or had to be put into any after school day care due to my Mom working past my school time. Let me tell you - I was and still am SO grateful for that because through her example, I learned just how precious time with your children is and how every moment of the day should be cherished. I was also able to spend more time with my Mom than many kids ever get the chance to. I thank the Lord Jesus Christ for blessing us with that time because she died when I was just 20. God used her impact on my life to shape me into the person that I am now, and I need to thank him every day for it. If I die when Zoe is 20, I want to know that I have taught her everything she needs to know and I want to be there with her every step of the way, every single day. Absolutely no time wasted.

My Mother's dedication to motherhood is one of the most important things I ever learned from her. I remember when I was very young and I asked my Mom why she didn't have a job (meaning a job outside the home) and she replied with, "So that I can always be here for you." She dedicated her life to taking care of us children to the best of her ability. I hardly ever saw her do anything for herself, she spent all of her time doing things for the good of her family. And she always was there for me and available to me always, until the day she died. In that sense, she was the epitome of what I believe every Mother should be.

Within a Family this is what the Biblical order is: God is our Father and we must submit to him first and foremost. Second, as a wife you are to be your husband's helper and submit to him as the leader of the family. Third, your children, and then yourself. God is glorified through this order, which is why he designed it this way. Your children come before you and all of your personal goals in life. Your decision about work needs to be based upon the needs of your children, not yourself. Many women choose to work for reasons that are nothing less than selfish. They want to be accepted by the culture as an important member of society - they base their importance on their job. A job that is going to take time away from family is not a privilege, it does not determine your level of importance, it is a duty and that is all. If you decide you must work it should be for the good of your family, not yourself.

If you are working because you need to and your family would be on the streets if you did not work, then work! You are honoring the Lord by doing your duty to your family. However, if you are working just for the sake of having extra money or if you feel you need a job or else you'd be bored - you need to examine your motives and priorities because your children need you. I may also point out that a lot of what women make at their jobs goes to day care, in some cases it is nearly all of the money goes to it.

Children need their Moms. If you are working all the time and they are in day care all day or after school programs, and the majority of their time is spent with other people, not with you: you are allowing other people (many that you do not know) to teach and influence your children and do the work for you. Your children belong to you and they are your responsibility, not theirs.

Our Father in Heaven is always there for us, and we are his children. We need to do the same for our children. Always consider their needs before your own I can guarantee the Lord will bless you for it.

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