My Beautiful Mom

January 2, 1956 - July 9, 2005
We love and miss you dearly.

Kimberly Carol Skodacek (Alger) - My Mother

There are too many happy memories to list but I thought I should post a little about my Mom on this Mother's Day. This is my 4th Mother's Day without my Mom. However, it is my 2nd Mother's Day as a Mother!

My Mom --

• She was born in Landstuhl, Germany, though she was not German. Her father, who was in the air force, was stationed there.
• She married my Dad in 1978 on December 16th.
• She became a mother for the first time at age 29 in Riverside, CA when she gave birth to me in 1985.
• She had a heart for Jesus.
• She had one sibling - a sister named Lisa.
• She was very friendly to everyone she met.
• She was a homemaker, and before that -a color consultant.
• She taught me that family comes first before a career.
• She loved mystery TV shows.
• She loved to be creative. She made crafts to sell at craft fairs and in craft stores and she loved it.
• She once wore lettuce on her head, and I have proof. ;)
• She told me she loved me every day.
• She often took me to the mall with her when I was young and each time she would buy me a pretzel and an icee and we would go into the pet store and the hello kitty store.
• She gave the best hugs ever.
• She taught me how to laugh - I've been told I laugh exactly like my Mom did.
• She called me "honey" most of the time and I find myself doing the same thing with Zoe now.
• She used to buy me random cards or write little notes on paper and slip them under my bedroom door saying things like, "I'm so proud of you." or "I love you Punkin"
• She spent a portion of her childhood in Kentucky and she loved it there, which is why she moved there later in life.
• She loved anything Victorian.
• Her favorite colors were cranberry red and forest green.
• Her favorite band was Journey, she also loved Seal and Michael Sweet.
• She went to Scholarship Camp with me one year as a counselor. I am so grateful for that experience with her.
• She loved movies with Julia Roberts, Meg Ryan, and Sandra Bullock.
• She loved the movie, "When Harry Met Sally". We (my Mom, sister Gabby, and me) memorized Meg Ryan's character Sally's entire order she makes in the restaurant ("I'd like the chef salad please...." )
• She loved Mexican Pizzas from Taco Bell.
• She taught me how to make lists ;) She made a list for just about everything.

That's all for now, I think I'll post a list like this every year. It's great spending time thinking of good memories of my amazing Mom.

Fear of the Future

Jhn 14:27 - Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

I have always been a very sentimental girl. I own many things that are strictly sentimental value and do not really serve any other purpose than that. I have always been a documenter - writing, taking photos, scrapbooking, etc. Ever since I was a kid I have tried to make the most out of everything I did because I enjoyed life and wanted to embrace it. When I turned 13 I reveled in the fact that I was a teenager. I didn't follow in the footsteps of many teens but I did do things sometimes I think simply because I was a teen - hung posters on my walls, listened to music all day, dressed in "cool" clothing (while still modest), and went to concert after concert after concert. I remember thinking as a teenager that I wanted to stay that way forever. Young, healthy, with very few responsibilities. I was a little Peter Pan if you will ;) Never wanted to grow up. I took it all in, I didn't want to waste any moment of my teen years.

Ever since I watched my Mom take her last breath my appreciation for life has increased even more. So much that I think it has actually begun to have a negative effect on me. I've come to cherish moments so much that I never want to let them go. I want to stop time. I fear getting older (I dreaded turning 22, then 23, and now 24), I fear getting sick, and I fear dying at a relatively young age just as my Mom did. As with most people, it is my desire to grow old and watch my grandchildren grow up. I know that this is not my decision to make though - it is entirely up to God when I will go be with him. Most people my age simply don't think this way, young people expect to live until they are old, so they don't spend too much time thinking about their futures other than what job they will have or the number of children they want. Many people take it for granted that they will one day have grandchildren and even great-grandchildren, but we really don't know that for sure. With my Mom dying at a young age, it has nearly convinced me that I am going to die young also (which is an irrational thing to expect, I know, but nevertheless that is how I think.)

God has blessed me tremendously in my life so far and there are very few things that I would have ever hoped to be different. My life so far has been incredible, to say the least, and I want nothing more than to spend every waking moment of the day glorifying the Lord with all that I do. I cannot do this if I am constantly in fear of the future. Fear is a complete lack of faith.

My desire should first and foremost be a desire to be with Jesus Christ. Yes, family is a wonderful blessing, but I cannot allow myself to love them more than I love God. In reality, they do not even begin to compare to God. I need to look forward to the day that I die and not dread it, because what is in store for me as a believer in Jesus Christ is far greater than anything, even family.

The last week or so I have been realizing that in a short time, my baby girl is no longer going to be a baby. She will never be a baby every again. Now when I hold her I start to feel sadness, knowing that this beautiful stage of life will soon be over and will never return. I look forward to her toddler years but I am also sad that my little baby that I can cradle in my arms is growing so quickly. I wish she could stay a baby for just a while longer.

Even when I was a teenager my Mom called me her baby girl, I have a feeling I will do the same with Zoe. My Mom told me she loved me every single day of my life and she dedicated her life to caring for me and my siblings. My memories from growing up are so precious. I want to create a home filled with beautiful memories for Zoe, just as my Mom did for me.

I cherish every memory I have of my Mom, of my parents when they were together, of my sister dancing around and singing in the living room, of my brother and his obsession with the Muppets and chicken nuggets, all the fun Christmas' we spent together, the places we traveled to... These memories have such a profound effect on the way I live today. I loved my childhood and I really miss it, but being the sentimental person that I am (and was) I don't feel like my childhood wasn't long enough because I embraced it and enjoyed it to the best of my ability. I am in a new stage of life now though and if I don't "live life to its fullest" right now it'll pass me by and I'll wonder what happened to the time.

In the verse above, Jesus is telling his disciples not to fear because as believers in Him, they have nothing to fear. They were afraid of what was to come, but Jesus gave them the peace that they needed. My prayer on this day is that God would grant me the peace that I need to not fear what is to come. I pray that I will be able to cherish the wonderful moments of life and not worry about a time when those moments will be gone. I pray that I can keep an eternal perspective always - the more we realize how short our lives are the more we focus on our purpose - and that is to glorify the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Loving life is a wonderful thing and changes can be extremely hard on a person, but life is FULL of changes and each new change is a new adventure and each new adventure is a way to learn and grow in the Lord and it is a way to create new memories.

I know that I cannot get rid of this fear on my own. If my fear ever goes away it will be entirely God's doing.
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Happy Birthday Mom

Today would have been my Mom's 53rd Birthday.
January 2, 1956 - July 9, 2005

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My Kitchen

Today I was tagged by Christina over at A Homemakers Journal

It appears that it is my turn in the blogosphere to post my 7 favorite things in my Kitchen! So here we go...

#1 A photo of my Mom and me in 2004. Located on the window sill in front of my kitchen sink.


#2 - A Bunny that my Mom made years ago. She sits on top of our Bread Box.


#3 - My Table Runner, made by my Mother-in-Law!


#4 - My Fridge and all of it's awesomeness.


#5 - My "Junk" Drawer



#6 - My Curtains with Apples on them!


#7 - Last but not least... our super cool trash can! It takes up no extra space :)



I am tagging anyone who reads this who has a kitchen of their own! Now, get to it. Haha. It is almost 1 am and I have been awake since 5:30 am.... it's time for bed!

Things to Consider about Work

If you are a married Mom that is trying to decide whether or not you should work or stay home, these are some things that must be taken into consideration before making that decision.

First figure out how and if it is possible for your family to be a one income family, if not - decide if it could be in the future by finding expenses you could cut back on or eliminate altogether. The reason I encourage you married women to find a way to stay home is because I believe it is the most rewarding job a woman can ever have. It is such an incredible blessing to be constantly available to my daughter.

By working 40 hours a week for approximately 50 weeks a year (that includes approx 2 weeks off from work for vacation), you are away from your children for nearly 3 months out of the year. Not a big deal, right? Now, Multiply that by 18 years and it becomes 4 years of your life away from your child(ren). That is time that you do not get to spend with your child.

Granted, 13 of those years they will be in school for a large portion of your work hours, and if you work only during their school hours it will only mean that 2 years have been taken away due to the amount of schooling the public system has them do. However, if you work 9-5 you loose an additional 9 months. Over a period of 13 years those 2 extra hrs become 270 full 24 hr periods (9 full months).

If you work full time, 9-5pm: That is 420 days in the first 5 years of their life (over a year of their life) and plus the additional 270 days throughout the next 13 years. That is 690 days ( nearly 2 years) that you could spend with your children should you choose to not work full-time. The reason I have added up all of these days is because many of us don't realize exactly how much time is taken away by us working all the time.

Education is not an option. Therefore if your child is in the public school system, 2 of the 4 years you are unable to spend with your children they are being educated. Every child must attend some form of school: whether it be in a public school, private school, home school, or even unschooling. A child cannot go through life without some form of education. Day care programs, summer long camps, and after school programs may offer some education, but their main purpose is to serve as forms of childcare. The only reason they exist is because of working parents and their need for childcare while they are working during the days.

The point is we only have roughly 18 years to encourage, teach, love on, and guide our children until they become adults, and from then on - they are on their own. Yes, Lord willing you will still be around for them but they will essentially be on their own. 18 years is not long in regards to a lifetime, it is time that should be well cherished. I believe many Mothers in our culture do not take enough time to cherish their children. When you take into account all of the hours used by working full time, you literally have only have 14 years to spend with your children.

The thing to consider is this: Is all of that time spent away from your children worth it? Is your decision to work based on a personal fulfillment desire? Will your children truly benefit from your work? As for me and my family, the answer is no. We are living on a single part-time income and there are often times where I wish I could go work for a paycheck to contribute to our family, but the fact of the matter is - we are not on the streets. God is providing. I have no true need to work outside of the home. For some people it might be worth it, but in my case I view no job is more worthy of my time than my family. No job can even come close to the level of importance of Motherhood.

As for working while the children are in school (granted of course that you are not homeschooling), I believe the answer is entirely up to you and your husband. The answer to that question should be based on what you know you are capable of, what your goals are, and what your convictions are (Romans 14). I believe women should be the keepers in their home (Titus 2), but I also believe a woman can work outside of the home (as the Proverbs 31 woman did) and still be the keeper of the home - as long as your motives are Biblical and you are not neglecting your duties as a Mother.

My Mom stayed home with me and my 2 siblings. She was home with me every day of my life until I was about 5 years old (which I believe is a very critical time for motherhood and childhood). After that, during my 13 years of school I went to a public school for many of those years and home schooled for a few of them - but I was never home alone day after day or had to be put into any after school day care due to my Mom working past my school time. Let me tell you - I was and still am SO grateful for that because through her example, I learned just how precious time with your children is and how every moment of the day should be cherished. I was also able to spend more time with my Mom than many kids ever get the chance to. I thank the Lord Jesus Christ for blessing us with that time because she died when I was just 20. God used her impact on my life to shape me into the person that I am now, and I need to thank him every day for it. If I die when Zoe is 20, I want to know that I have taught her everything she needs to know and I want to be there with her every step of the way, every single day. Absolutely no time wasted.

My Mother's dedication to motherhood is one of the most important things I ever learned from her. I remember when I was very young and I asked my Mom why she didn't have a job (meaning a job outside the home) and she replied with, "So that I can always be here for you." She dedicated her life to taking care of us children to the best of her ability. I hardly ever saw her do anything for herself, she spent all of her time doing things for the good of her family. And she always was there for me and available to me always, until the day she died. In that sense, she was the epitome of what I believe every Mother should be.

Within a Family this is what the Biblical order is: God is our Father and we must submit to him first and foremost. Second, as a wife you are to be your husband's helper and submit to him as the leader of the family. Third, your children, and then yourself. God is glorified through this order, which is why he designed it this way. Your children come before you and all of your personal goals in life. Your decision about work needs to be based upon the needs of your children, not yourself. Many women choose to work for reasons that are nothing less than selfish. They want to be accepted by the culture as an important member of society - they base their importance on their job. A job that is going to take time away from family is not a privilege, it does not determine your level of importance, it is a duty and that is all. If you decide you must work it should be for the good of your family, not yourself.

If you are working because you need to and your family would be on the streets if you did not work, then work! You are honoring the Lord by doing your duty to your family. However, if you are working just for the sake of having extra money or if you feel you need a job or else you'd be bored - you need to examine your motives and priorities because your children need you. I may also point out that a lot of what women make at their jobs goes to day care, in some cases it is nearly all of the money goes to it.

Children need their Moms. If you are working all the time and they are in day care all day or after school programs, and the majority of their time is spent with other people, not with you: you are allowing other people (many that you do not know) to teach and influence your children and do the work for you. Your children belong to you and they are your responsibility, not theirs.

Our Father in Heaven is always there for us, and we are his children. We need to do the same for our children. Always consider their needs before your own I can guarantee the Lord will bless you for it.

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Obama, Abortion, and God's Sovereignty

Pro 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

Our New President:

It is final, Barack Obama has been elected as our new President. The election has finally ended. I am grateful that it is over, but I have to admit I'm not the happiest I've ever been. I don't agree with many things that Barack Obama stands for, and it does concern me that he is the one who is going to be making many decisions that are not biblical, but I don't want to disrespect his authority as President. God has granted him with this job for a purpose - whether he uses Obama to save the country or completely destroy it, only God can know what our future holds and that is who I put my hope in.

This leads me back to the topic of biblical submission. We are called to submit to our authorities (Titus 3) and Christians, please do not mock, scoff, disrespect, slander, or dishonor our new President. We may not all agree with him, but being that God placed him in our authority it is our duty to obey the Lord's command by submitting to our authorities, no matter who they may be. Showing disrespect towards Obama is not Christ-like and that is a Christian's ultimate goal - to become more like Christ by honoring God. Jesus Christ absolutely would not poke fun at Obama - he would rebuke him if he sinned for the sake of convicting him. He would proclaim the truth to Obama, but he would not slander him. What you do and say should reflect that which is good, perfect, and holy. No matter how much you may dislike this man, you have no right to disrespect him. If you are truly saved it means you have been transformed by the renewal of your mind, you are a new person in Christ because you have died to your sin - you are no longer held captive by it. Gal 2:20 says, "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." How beautiful are those words - we absolutely must live them. Always be kind and only speak truth.

Initiative 11 in South Dakota:
1Ti 5:20 As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear.

My heart is aching, I have been crying off and on all evening. Our state tried to oppose abortion to be used as birth control (with exceptions for incest, rape, the health and life of the mother) and people still voted against it. My mind goes directly to all of those unborn babies and the terror and pain that they go through the moment they are murdered. And for what? Is there really any good reason for it? Seriously? I can't even for one second understand why a person would be opposed to Initiative 11. I just can't wrap my mind around it. What goes on in the minds of people who would vote for such a thing? Who in their right mind can be so selfish, so cruel and heartless? It makes me sick to my stomach, my head aches, my heart is broken, I am completely dismayed. What do they do with aborted babies? Throw them in the trash? Can you even imagine how incredibly enormous a grave yard would have to be if you buried each and every baby that has been aborted? Yes, murder is a sin just like lying, stealing, coveting, dishonoring your parents, adultery, etc. The Bible makes it very clear that there must be a payment for sin and if you cannot pay for it (the wages of sin is death) there will be punishment unless you repent and put your trust in Jesus Christ (who paid for your sins, so that you would not have to be punished).

Rom 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

I know God has a plan and purpose for everything, and because I believe what he says is true, all things work together for good and ultimately this will all be for his glory, but unfortunately I am human and I do not understand why he allows things like this to carry on for so long. I feel this same way when I think about my Mom - I don't understand why she had to die so young, why she was "taken" from me when I was just 20, but God is sovereign and he is in control. In the grand scheme of things, my "need" for my Mom is not what is important - God's plan is, because the result of his plan is unimaginable and worth every heartache there is.

He had his reasons for her passing away, and I've been blessed to see that much good has come as a result of my Mom's death (the major one being my sister was saved), and I believe that as a result of these deaths through the horrific act known as abortion, ultimately God will be glorified and much good will come from it.